Over the years I have been told things from I'm a godless heathen to I am an incarnation of Satan himself and constantly asked the same question. Why are you such a pig headed atheist? I feel I can now comfortably answer this question honestly. Put very simply I am not an atheist, I am what I would personally have thought to be a dubious humanist. Although it is true I think the human race consists mainly of the moronic and ignorant, where 99% of the population will purge, lie, cheat and steal just to feel comfortable in their own skin, The 1% that remains in hiding have the potential to do beautiful things and be beautiful people.
We are not all blessed to be graced with a moments presence of these 1% but sometimes, just sometimes some of us are, to this I shall return and please allow my digression but as humankind we find ourselves, or purposely surround ourselves with complete idiots, people following make believe men in the sky whose every noted word finds a way to make itself seem more ludicrous as time gently flows on. Ask yourself this question seriously, what do you believe? is your whole life predetermined? whom should I lay my faith?
Did you ask? I recently asked myself this question and I found the answer quite simple. I can not comprehend the idea of an omnipresent deity or an ever present evil that causes men to do terrible things by manipulative impression alone but I can still believe in something real.
The truth being, recently my medication that keeps my sorrowful 27 year old ass alive has a very not nice effect, to put it truthfully its puts you into a state of zombie like idiocy. It takes your emotions and destroys them and then came the point when I though fuck it, it's time to go now! I seriously thought maybe suicide was the answer, Let me tell you for a narcissist this is no easy feat. But just as I had dragged my skinny backside out of my office I realised something, It was not a moment of pure clarity or divine intervention, it was the light of my faithful sidekick, my mobile telephone. I picked up the telephone and noticed a small envelope symbol to the top left, at which point I thought nothing but a text message. It was but it was not at the same time. It was a moment of belief, this text was from 11387.16 Miles SE it just read the following:-
it was so amazing but probably the most scared i've ever been!
The guide just forced us to do so much stuff that I swear wasn't
safe/legal lol. Love you too Xx
This may not mean anything to anyone, but to somebody like me it answered my ultimate question. I do not believe in gods, devils, demi gods, the boogie monster, ghosts, poltergiests, the incubus, the sucubus, jesus christ or mohammed but one thing is for damn sure I believe in the person who sent that text. You will all have that person eventually. It is the one person that answers your questions without you asking and who saves your life without knowing. So for once a positive message (don't get used to it!) Don't look for answers in the bible or in the sky, look straight ahead of you as you possibly already have the answer and you didn't even know it!
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